Saturday, August 18, 2012

The Bourne Cacophony

So - the Bourne Identity, the Bourne Supremacy, the Bourne Ultimatum and now the Bourne Legacy.

I've got a few more since the sequels don't seem to stop and given the onset of time, aging will eventually take over & we will need to get more creative.

The Bourne Geriatry, the Bourne Colonoscopy, the Bourne Atrophy, the Bourne Coronary and finally the Bourne Rectum.

The Bourne Colonoscopy. "There was never just one."

Perhaps 'The Bourne Philately' too. Even the slickest of moldy Treadstone assassins will need a hobby. What better than terrorizing unsuspecting postal workers while adding to your stamp collection.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Gaping Gases.

The Mens Wearhouse commercial man always intrigues me. For some reason, I strongly feel he should do Pepto Bismol ads. That deep baritone voice can work wonders on violently flickering belly muscles and provide directed, propulsive, exit strategies to angry trapped gases trying to whistle out through pouting belly buttons. Time to reach for some hickory sauce.

You're gonna like the way you poop, I guarantee it. [Prolonged, comforting flatulent melody]

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

A fine example of Existentialism in Urdu Poetry.

"न था कुछ तो खुदा था, कुछ न होता तो खुदा होता
डुबोया मुझको होने ने, न होता में तो क्या होता?"

Na tha kuch to Khuda tha, kuch na hota to Khuda hota
Duboya mujh ko hone ne, na hota main to kya hota

"When there was nothing, there was God; even if nothing existed, God would still be. I was destroyed because I existed; how would it have mattered if I did not exist."

Mirza Asadullah Beg Khan Ghalib

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Prasadams & Desis.

I'm at the Hindu temple this morning - the offerings (sweets) after the service are being distributed... The gentleman distributing the sweets comes around to me, reaches for a rather large piece of delectable 'laddoo.' But then his gaze pauses in horror as he engages me and realizes the extent of opulence I exude in body weight.

As he soaks up the sight of a hermetically sealed violent blob of pudge at his heel, he quickly lets his fingers dribble back to a piece three finger steps behind. Which, bless his over-consumed benevolent heart happens to be the size of a pea that gave up hope thirty seven years ago.

He then proceeds to smile, drop the sweet in the depth of my open palm as he greets me with a hello and walks away filling his lungs with the air that resounds the clarity of his good deed in saving another hippo from extinction.

INDIANS, We love judging don't we! LOL!

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Holy Crab!

When an unusually large, friendly Pacific Red Crab takes a swim in a South Indian Konkani Amshetikshe (an invigoratingly delicious spicy coconut curry)...a taste explosion of psychosomatic proportions ensues, consummating in a psychedelic mind expansion phenomenon. Tonight my peristalsis is worth every fragrant, immersive morsel. Thanks MOM!!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Brazen Effort

I watch my horizons crash against my avenues as the streets are wrought with misshapen shards of attempt. I brave the darkness coiling upon my skies above as I breathe deep. I shall overcome.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

A Royal BAH!

Apparently, Buckingham Palace will be available to William and his would be bride for three days after the wedding. Does that mean the 'Queen' will check into a Motel 6, order room service, listen to El Gato 103.1FM and eat menudo for breakfast in true LALA Land Style?
God save the Queen's digestive system and the Royal Peristalsis!
Wait! I think she will set out on a journey of conquest, colonize 711 & Pepboys and discover the hippopotamus.

Friday, April 01, 2011

To Rise Above

I think people are inherently good and kind by nature. But they cover themselves with malice, cloak themselves in deceit, capsulize their good intentions in causticity and choose to forget what they are really capable of. Let's change this.

Let's for once be kind to each other and live with purpose. Only then shall we prevail and rise. The goal is not to endure, but to rise above mediocrity and solidify the very crust of humanity that we have been chipping away at for years. Onwards & upwards, my brethren!

My thought for the day.