Weight of the World & Gau under it (Part Vun)

It's a lousy Thursday morning in here. You guessed it! I am rendering a little movie so I have some time to bitch and moan about things I don't like and the ones I'd gladly give the proverbial boot, if elected as Emperor of Earth. I will be a very humble leader. Outside, it's overcast, with heavy winds and a general feeling that life's beautiful. It may rain again today. California. In here, the slaves toil away. The crash of shovels against design elements and cheap impressions of classical & mediterranean motifs. I should get a hold of meself before I get completely carried away and levitate like a glorified moth. Not a good idea. I'd look more like a bag of russet browns experiencing zero Gs. Anyways. I have something to declare. My undivided attention has just lost its capacity to stay on course. In my head, I have thrown up several times because of the excess hip-hop culture that I've been exposed to. And the addition of the word eX or simply the alphabet 'X' in every conceivable product in the market today. Let's start with this kind first.

New shaving gel with more minerals for a closer shave, Edgy-eX. New strength drink with enhancements, ElectrolyteX. A lighter beer with a clearer taste and neater finish, as if it were paint, Bud-Hen-eX. A better stronger meaner laxative that'll make you poop like a concrete mixer in it's pour; Shite-X. Milk that'll rock your belly and enhance your math skills, Lactate-X. The cow that was prescribed SteroideX before its udders rendered milk worthy of Greek Gods, Matilda-eX. Baby diapers that'll hold back even steel piercing odors, Diaper-eX. Protection that'll mask your needle-twin manhood and make it appear elephantine; Durex-eX. Everybody was biting the 'X' bug. It got to a point where ordinary people like you and I needed to be X-ed to continue living on this PlanetX.

Now back to Hiphop culture and Gau's patience. What is going on? Why does everybody want to be Tupac? I mean, Pac was a genuinely talented artist. He wrote, acted, rapped and most of all, it made perfect sense. But a lot of them homies have gotten way too carried away. Homies in China, Japan even friggin' India! A few years back (Early 90s) when Hip hop was more like rap, with artists like Vanilla's Ice (ripping off 'Under Pressure' by D. Bowie & Queen) and M.C. Arm & Hammer (artist inspired by Rick James & Baking Soda) were big, a clown emerged in India among the common people. This incredible jerk called himself Baba Sehgal and literally translated 'Ice, Ice, Baby' into his own work of art, 'Thanda Thanda Paani' which incidentally means 'Cold, Cold, Water.' Huh! We, the college infesting vermin were 'Very, Very, Shaken!' And, this was the early 90's'; just the beginning. Muhuahahaha! Mr. Sehgal incidentally had an electrical engineering degree which he'd gotten by rapping his dissertation to the committee.

"Duh resistance tuh electrical floh iz mezzurd in Ohms,
don't believe a brotha n' call him Homes.
I clipped Tesla and smoked a joint,
he give me a subjettive queez,
da solution I kuddn't pin point!
My hobbeez inklude collectin' bonsai
My major's electrical, specialization VLSI!"

I for one, have a lot of respect for people with good degrees. Professional? 'Wonderful!' Graduate? 'Incredible!' Doctoral? 'Do you have a fan club?' I'd close my eyes n' lick a toad in appreciation! But since this incident, I have started to question this very belief.

Warning! Let's stay on course and not digress. If this was not enough more artist started to spring up like mushrooms in every possible direction. Idiot after idiot. But one artist that caught my eye with his incredibly foolish ways was 'Tai, the Chinese Rapper'. This guy is the supremo! He's what I call the friggin pick up in a world of compacts.

TO BE CONTINUED...