An Attempt at Recyled Humor after Six Months
Well, I know. It's been a while since I heard the familiar clacking of the keycaps dancing to my finger tips as I poured my contempt filled heart out in rebellious hatred of everything sacred, divine and Subway. Eat fresh homes. But I had my reasons. Pretty much like the recycling signs that have been springing up all over the freeways & streets of Los Angeles with pouting blonds and six-foot brunette hunks with enough chisel in their chins to put Gillette to shame, blatantly rubbing it my face; "I recycle; my reasons are my own!" Well, me to dude / dudette they are not exclamations on my grocery list. Neither do I intend to have them embossed on my beach towel.
I don't need a reason or the need to pout every time I open a packet of peanuts or take a moment to ruffle through my garbage looking for quarters before my monthly visit to the laundry. I'm kidding, I wash my clothes whenever penguins in shorts buy tickets online from movietickets.com. I also recycle. Whether it's yesterday's soup from the deli or my vest that I used at the gym for cardiovascular respiratory gain last Tuesday which was hung out to dry following the herculean workout. My reasons are my own and not yours to worry about. Yes, don't. Ah well, I didn't have time on my side and I was trying to lose some of the excess body fat I had gained after visiting home and wolfing down everything that remotely resembled edible, digestible and accountable. It was nice and now its over. Bah. And stop grousing over my exceptionally long sentences; I'm trying to save punctuation.
I also believe in saving our environment. I also think it's about time we stopped using up so much electricity and then claiming to be environmentalists at a rally after arriving there on time in a Cadillac Escalade. You know who I think are real environmentalists? Movie actors and gamma rappers. Here's my theory... 1.Fifty Cent, because instead of a dance club wasting gazillion joules of electricity, he takes his 'hoochies' to the candy shop for some lollipop. And 2.Justin Timberlake, because he saved one tree by calling his album 'Timbaland'. And when the album went platinum, can you imagine how many trees heaved a sigh of relief? How about 3.Flava Flav because instead of using wooden cutlery he uses brightly colored wall clocks to accessorize.
I can give you an entire list of celebrities who are raking it in and not doing much consciously to help the environment. They believe in being proactive subconsciously. Telepathy, alcohol and cocaine induced awareness are some of the effective new techniques Hollywood is inspiring at this point of time. So the next time you decide to go to your pharmacy to invest in some medications that'll make its way to your home in a polythene bag, think of the better things you can do by scoring some oxycontin and hallucinating about how real the Energizer bunny is. I can keep going and going on and on and on.
As for those silly campaigns, I got two words for you. Make it three. Recycle THIS bitch! And while you're at it, ride the metro to work and get two eyeballs full of Miss Traffic.
Oh, I usually take the 10 and my 300's gas mileage is a little over 17 mpg. Yeah, f**k you too Prius.
I don't need a reason or the need to pout every time I open a packet of peanuts or take a moment to ruffle through my garbage looking for quarters before my monthly visit to the laundry. I'm kidding, I wash my clothes whenever penguins in shorts buy tickets online from movietickets.com. I also recycle. Whether it's yesterday's soup from the deli or my vest that I used at the gym for cardiovascular respiratory gain last Tuesday which was hung out to dry following the herculean workout. My reasons are my own and not yours to worry about. Yes, don't. Ah well, I didn't have time on my side and I was trying to lose some of the excess body fat I had gained after visiting home and wolfing down everything that remotely resembled edible, digestible and accountable. It was nice and now its over. Bah. And stop grousing over my exceptionally long sentences; I'm trying to save punctuation.
I also believe in saving our environment. I also think it's about time we stopped using up so much electricity and then claiming to be environmentalists at a rally after arriving there on time in a Cadillac Escalade. You know who I think are real environmentalists? Movie actors and gamma rappers. Here's my theory... 1.Fifty Cent, because instead of a dance club wasting gazillion joules of electricity, he takes his 'hoochies' to the candy shop for some lollipop. And 2.Justin Timberlake, because he saved one tree by calling his album 'Timbaland'. And when the album went platinum, can you imagine how many trees heaved a sigh of relief? How about 3.Flava Flav because instead of using wooden cutlery he uses brightly colored wall clocks to accessorize.
I can give you an entire list of celebrities who are raking it in and not doing much consciously to help the environment. They believe in being proactive subconsciously. Telepathy, alcohol and cocaine induced awareness are some of the effective new techniques Hollywood is inspiring at this point of time. So the next time you decide to go to your pharmacy to invest in some medications that'll make its way to your home in a polythene bag, think of the better things you can do by scoring some oxycontin and hallucinating about how real the Energizer bunny is. I can keep going and going on and on and on.
As for those silly campaigns, I got two words for you. Make it three. Recycle THIS bitch! And while you're at it, ride the metro to work and get two eyeballs full of Miss Traffic.
Oh, I usually take the 10 and my 300's gas mileage is a little over 17 mpg. Yeah, f**k you too Prius.
posted by Shaking Shenoy at 4/24/2008 03:30:00 PM
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