Steady Systematic Decline
I was watching some tv earlier tonight and I saw some commercials that simply made me swear some softly for quite some time. It's not a new thing for me to see good music ending up as background scores for tv commercials, but sometimes limits do get pushed and I squeak like a heavy mahogany desk on a metal deck. Let me explain. Every once in a while there are some songs that become close to your heart or maybe define a certain timeline in your life. These songs, everytime you hear them play, make you smile. Maybe a memory from your childhood or your first album, a memory makes the song linger on. And then there are the corporations. Everything's for sale and up for grabs. As long as the machine's fed, it's all good. For instance.
Scenario One: Three heavy set, dude-looking, muscle-bounding, gel-sporting, body revealing shirts-wearing gentlemen are sitting on a table at a local diner. The camera dollys and three breathe-taking, head-turning, saliva-altering, gene-splicing, beauties are walking towards them in slow motion. The heavy guitar licks play loud while this irresistable trio walks past the other three Einsteins and the rest of the diner is in shambles. The three dudes stare at the three dudettes in disbelief like they were walking with restraining orders on the diner for an 'instant shut down while I snatch the morsel outta your sorry mouth'. The harmony solo starts to play to accompany the heavy bass slapping. A newsflash occurs in my head. I know this track... Scorpions... The babes walk past, the music stops for a second and starts all over again as a waiter walks into frame carrying a steaming plate of pasta in one hand and a smouldering, smoking steak in the other, fresh outta the grill. The three dudes stare at the two dishes in disbelief as their mouths start to water. 'Here I am... to rock you like a hurricane...' What more can I say? How can fettucine in jambalaya sauce with shrimp or a medium rare steak with mashed potato rock anybody like a hurricane? Unless it's hurled at them @ 170 miles an hour or its fed to someone after being left outside for a week. A TGI Friday's commercial. I went into the bathroom and scraped my tongue with soap, while pledging to engage the mute button the next time around, before this classic track gets a mental beating.
Scenario Two: Life's in slo-mo. Not much to say. Coca Cola commercial. 'I want to break free' playing in the background. Freddy Mercury spinning in his grave. I'm tearing my hair out, one follicle at a time.
Scenario Three: News headline. Pepsi signs deal. Commercial not released yet. 'We will rock you' is Pepsi's new tag line. Freddy Mercury spinning out of control. I start on my eyebrows.
Fucking Neanderthals.
Scenario One: Three heavy set, dude-looking, muscle-bounding, gel-sporting, body revealing shirts-wearing gentlemen are sitting on a table at a local diner. The camera dollys and three breathe-taking, head-turning, saliva-altering, gene-splicing, beauties are walking towards them in slow motion. The heavy guitar licks play loud while this irresistable trio walks past the other three Einsteins and the rest of the diner is in shambles. The three dudes stare at the three dudettes in disbelief like they were walking with restraining orders on the diner for an 'instant shut down while I snatch the morsel outta your sorry mouth'. The harmony solo starts to play to accompany the heavy bass slapping. A newsflash occurs in my head. I know this track... Scorpions... The babes walk past, the music stops for a second and starts all over again as a waiter walks into frame carrying a steaming plate of pasta in one hand and a smouldering, smoking steak in the other, fresh outta the grill. The three dudes stare at the two dishes in disbelief as their mouths start to water. 'Here I am... to rock you like a hurricane...' What more can I say? How can fettucine in jambalaya sauce with shrimp or a medium rare steak with mashed potato rock anybody like a hurricane? Unless it's hurled at them @ 170 miles an hour or its fed to someone after being left outside for a week. A TGI Friday's commercial. I went into the bathroom and scraped my tongue with soap, while pledging to engage the mute button the next time around, before this classic track gets a mental beating.
Scenario Two: Life's in slo-mo. Not much to say. Coca Cola commercial. 'I want to break free' playing in the background. Freddy Mercury spinning in his grave. I'm tearing my hair out, one follicle at a time.
Scenario Three: News headline. Pepsi signs deal. Commercial not released yet. 'We will rock you' is Pepsi's new tag line. Freddy Mercury spinning out of control. I start on my eyebrows.
Fucking Neanderthals.
posted by Shaking Shenoy at 3/27/2005 11:13:00 PM
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