Sunday, October 30, 2005

A Constant

If I were to take 20 minutes to tell you the horrible time that my family and I endured about 12 months ago, here's how it would sound:

According to the Hindu calendar, on the 31st of October 2005 it will be a full year since my beloved uncle's demise. It is hard to believe. Exactly 12 months to this day, I can say that there was nothing in the world which would've been a premonition of what was about to ensue. And yet the very thought of all of us cringed over how helpless we were still plays havoc in my head. They watched him die. I was here 30,000 miles away hoping that he'd live through it and come out unscathed. The cancer was killing him up in such an ugly fashion, it's still hard to fathom. A perfectly healthy man was falling apart, bit by bit. Losing his ability to walk, to stand, to speak. The chemotherapy was not helping. It angers me to see such torture subjected onto a man whose sole objective was to keep his family together, happy and safe. The fruit of all the innumerable number of sacrifices he had made throughout his life time were of no use.

It took all of three days for the disease to take its toll and then there was a hollow silence. On a Sunday afternoon, a shell of his remains lied still as half the town came to pay their respects to man who was a role model to many. The final walk from our ancestral home to a place where his remains would be consummated to a pyre. I was talking to my father on the phone as they waited for his mortal remains were brought from the hospital. My pa placed the phone next to his ear and told me to say something to him for the last time. I screamed and asked him to wake up and say its all a lie! It's not true! All I heard was the hollow silence. I cried, I screamed.


As for me, I do not write this every now and then to earn any sympathy. It's very hard. And all I can do is write. The last few days have been very trying. I wake up in tears almost every morning. I cant go to sleep without thinking of the most trivial moments I shared with my Pabamam. It is hard to let go, almost impossible. It's not that I want to let go, I want to remember him with a smile. Unfortunately each time I try, I am confronted by uncontrollable grief and complete helplessness. I cant spend a single hour without his thought. This is so hard. Spinning in my frustrations, I want to claw away all this pain if I could find a fold in all of this. I still want to wake up and think it's a very bad dream.

20 minutes..

Saturday, October 15, 2005

USC (5-0) !!

FIGHT ON!!

We've just beaten Notre Dame; arguably one of the best football teams. A touch down in the last three seconds of the 4th. How many more victories will it take to prove we're the best?

Go USC!!!!!

We're 2003 & 2004 National Champions. We'll do it again...

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Carnatic Compositions

For the last three days I've been listening to different renditions of Smt. M S Subbulakshmi (with Radha Viswanathan) and it's been nothing short of an ecstatic musical experience. I picked up the following tracks from itunes :
  • Rama Nannu Brovara
  • Amba Madura &
  • Kaligiyunte
Each one is a masterpiece. Although I am an avid listener of Hindustani vocal (khyals and ragas), I have found Carnatic to be as complex, lilting and enjoyable. If you haven't paid much attention to Indian Classical, believe me it's a must. The compositions are very complex and carrying the variations, the nuances while maintaining the taal is an endeavor.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Slick

Just picked up this disc. Poetry, man! Cypress hill's da bong! Woops, bomb!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Them Bones. Our Heap.

A 13-foot Burmese python recently burst after it apparently tried to swallow a live, six-foot alligator whole, authorities said.The incident has heightened biologists' fears that the nonnative snakes could threaten a host of other animal species in the Everglades.

"It means nothing in the Everglades is safe from pythons, a top-down predator," said Frank Mazzotti, a University of Florida wildlife professor. Over the years, many pythons have been abandoned in the Everglades by pet owners. The gory evidence of the latest gator-python encounter — the fourth documented in the past three years — was discovered and photographed last week by a helicopter pilot and wildlife researcher. The snake was found with the gator's hindquarters protruding from its midsection. Mazzotti said the alligator may have clawed at the python's stomach as the snake tried to digest it.

In previous incidents, the alligator won or the battle was an apparent draw. "There had been some hope that alligators can control Burmese pythons," Mazzotti said. "This indicates to me it's going to be an even draw. Sometimes alligators are going to win and sometimes the python will win." It is unknown how many pythons are competing with the thousands of alligators in the Everglades, but at least 150 have been captured in the past two years, said Joe Wasilewski, a wildlife biologist and crocodile tracker.

Pythons could threaten many smaller species that conservationists are trying to protect, including other reptiles, otters, squirrels, woodstorks and sparrows, Mazzotti said. Wasilewski said a 10- or 20-foot python also could pose a risk to an unwary human, especially a child. He added, however, "I don't think this is an imminent threat. This is not a `Be afraid, be very afraid' situation.'"

(news.yahoo.com)

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

A Sad Truth

Over the last week or so, I've had two of my friends lose their loved ones. In both instances, they lost their mothers. How much harsher can it be? I'm still grieving from my uncle's demise and I know how much it hurts. But for them, it's the worst that's happened. All I can do is pray for them and ask of God to give them a lot of strength to still this painful time. It really hurts to see them suffer. Please, God give them the strength.

May the ones who've passed on rest in peace.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Motrocycles Galore 2006

FLSTFSE² Screamin’ Eagle Fat Boy

CBR '06 (1000 RR)

VRSCSE² Screamin’ Eagle V-Rod (1200cc bore)